Hotashi

One of the problems of being very petite (almost too petite) is that others invalidate my recognition that I have gotten chubbier. Yes, it is possible for a size 0 person to become a size 1 and *gasp* a size 2! And yes it is possible for people of these sizes to have too much fat. There is such a thing as accumulating fat internally - on your organs to be precise. Read this article: Thin people might be fat on the inside.

Anyway, when others (most often people who are larger than me, which is 99.9% of the adult population) decide to start working out because they want to lose some flub and become healthier, people generally support them. What happens when I convey the same ambition? I get that look. The look that says I’m crazy and I should trust the judgment of those who have no idea what it’s like to have a very small body that is far from being healthy (read: asthma, fatigue, poor stamina, weak muscles, etc.). I do not look at models and think “that’s what I want to look like” because quite frankly, their body types are unnatural and unhealthy for the majority of the population. So no, it’s not all in my mind. I think I know when I’m out of shape. I walk up one flight of stairs and I’m panting. That’s not good! And I refuse to use my asthma as an excuse for not being more active. Damn you asthma!

So anyway, I started doing my morning exercises again. When the weather isn’t shitty like it was yesterday, I intend to go for a half hour walk. I would like to do an hour but Waterloo is not good for my asthma - not sure why. So here is to being healthy - cheers!

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I woke up to a full blown thurnderstorm this morning. I don’t think that has ever happened before. Normally I feel quite down when we have rainy weather, but this time I feel quite relaxed by it. We’ve gotten a lot more rain than usual this summer and it’s a nice change from the droughts we’ve been having over the past couple of years. I remember how everyone’s lawns would be yellow and crispy, and now they are green and lucious. So beautiful! I hope we have more summers like this. I’m sure all those people who have to actually go outside today are glaring at me. =P

I moved back to Waterloo today and plan on staying here until my lease is up at the end of August. I met up with one of my MA friends and we walked around the area for two and a half hours just catching up on things. It was nice to be able to do that again (being at home made me have a very limited social life). I’m partially happy to know that I’m ahead of so many others in our program with the progress of my research. But I’m still worried about not being able to graduate on time. I’m in a stage now where I can’t really do much and I need to wait on a couple of things before I can get cracking on analysis and writing. I’m trusting God and trying not to worry.

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I’ve been home for the past few weeks because of my research and I have become totally lethargic. I stopped doing my daily exercises and I can feel my body becoming a little more flabby and just unhealthy. I should not be tired from walking up one flight of stairs. I’m pretty pathetic really. So I have decided to start doing some exercises! I saw this article called Tone Your Tummy In One Month and I want to try it. I’m not looking for crazy toned abs, but I would like to decreases my rolls and become more healthy. So here goes one month of tummy toning. And I will start all of this tomorrow. =P

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I went swimming last night with my sister and her friend, who works as a lifeguard at the pool. From the moment I walked out of the changeroom, my eyes felt the effects of the Chlorine. IT BURNS! I spent an hour in the poor, mostly only having the water come halfway up my body, and it killed my hair. Well, my hair was pretty dead to begin with, but my poor locks are so frazzled now. I had to use so much shampoo to just get a lather and then a ridiculous amount of conditioner to coat it. Crazy…I was planning to go at least once a week, but I’m not sure anymore. Can’t they come up with a better alternative? T_T

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