Hotashi

One of the problems of being very petite (almost too petite) is that others invalidate my recognition that I have gotten chubbier. Yes, it is possible for a size 0 person to become a size 1 and *gasp* a size 2! And yes it is possible for people of these sizes to have too much fat. There is such a thing as accumulating fat internally - on your organs to be precise. Read this article: Thin people might be fat on the inside.

Anyway, when others (most often people who are larger than me, which is 99.9% of the adult population) decide to start working out because they want to lose some flub and become healthier, people generally support them. What happens when I convey the same ambition? I get that look. The look that says I’m crazy and I should trust the judgment of those who have no idea what it’s like to have a very small body that is far from being healthy (read: asthma, fatigue, poor stamina, weak muscles, etc.). I do not look at models and think “that’s what I want to look like” because quite frankly, their body types are unnatural and unhealthy for the majority of the population. So no, it’s not all in my mind. I think I know when I’m out of shape. I walk up one flight of stairs and I’m panting. That’s not good! And I refuse to use my asthma as an excuse for not being more active. Damn you asthma!

So anyway, I started doing my morning exercises again. When the weather isn’t shitty like it was yesterday, I intend to go for a half hour walk. I would like to do an hour but Waterloo is not good for my asthma - not sure why. So here is to being healthy - cheers!

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No matter where I am in my life or where I am with my walk with Jesus I find that there is nothing more comforting that lying in my bed and having a chat with Him. It really relieves a lot of stress and makes me admit things that I don’t want to. It gives me a real reality check and overall it makes me a better person. I’m pretty sure it’s good for my health too since the more I pray, the less I stress and worry about things.

I’ve heard people say prayer is powerful in relation to God’s work on someone else (the person, situation, etc. that you’re praying for), but it does wonders for the individual praying too. It is sad that people are deterred from praying because of the politics, prejudgements, ignorance, and poor representatives that are associated with Jesus and his followers - and of course, “Christians”.

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I just had a property manager come by my place to show the apartment to potential tenants. She is the same bitchy lady that processed out paperwork for when we moved in. I had the chain lock on my door and the first thing she told me when I opened the door was that I couldn’t have the chain lock on in case there is a fire. WTF. The chain lock was there when I moved in. Hence, it was already installed (probably by the landlords) and yet it is my fault for using it? WTF! She’s really bitchy about everything. She didn’t even give me my 24 hour warning before she came and didn’t even apologize for barging in on me. Her attitude demeans others and she acts so high and mighty. I wrote an official complaint to the property managering office. I hope they fire her.

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I think I mentioned previously that I’ve moved back to Waterloo until the end of August to work on my research. Well here I am living in my three-bedroom student apartment all alone. Ok that’s a lie - my hamster is with me too…and two house plants. But I’m pretty much alone since Tokki sleeps for the majority of my awake time and the plants are just plants. Jack came up this weekend and we hung out for a few days (long weekend) but other than that the place has been empty.

For the time I have been alone it has been weird getting into a pattern of living alone. Having people live with you definitely shapes your habits. For instance, when my two stupid roommates lived here with me I would try avoid going outside my room when I knew they were out there. Why? Because if I wasn’t asked really stupid questions I would get sucked into a socially awkward, brainless and/or ridiculously boring conversation. And then there is also the issues with rotting food. Personally, I like to avoid that.

Now that I’m here alone I’ve been wondering how to conduct myself. For instance, is it still inappropriate to not close the door when you’re on the can? Nobody is there so is it a big deal? Should I let my dishes pile up until I feel like washing them since I won’t be inconveniencing anyone? Can I take up all the room in the fridge without seeming like a hog? I know some of the answers might seem straight forward but since I’ve always had to share my space with other people, I have never had to question when such social norms are null. Null or nullified? Anyway, it’s weird. I took a piss with the door open…it felt so wrong.

P.S. Two blogs you should check out: our wedding blog & Stuff Korean Moms Like

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I checked my one e-mail that I don’t use very often and I found out that I had several books overdue from my school library. So I went to check my library account and found out that they have a HUGE fine against me and they have suspended my account. I distinctly remember renewing my books so that they will be due in September! And there is at least one book on that list that I had already given back at least a month ago. So now I have to go down there and settle this all out. I refuse to pay for their idiocy. =/

Btw, I had e-mailed them a couple of times before asking how I could change the contact e-mail for which they contact me by since I didn’t check that e-mail very often. They never replied. Seriously…idiots!

UPDATE:
So I went to the library to give some books back and pay my fine and I find out that the fine is WAY MORE than the fine listed online. ARGH! One book that was recalled had a fine of $25, which I managed to talk down a bit. Still, it was a lot. The rest of my books had a small fine each but there were a lot of them. This fine was from the time between their initial due date and the day I renewed them (6 days). So I really couldn’t justify refusing to pay since 1) it was my fault, and 2) if you don’t pay your fine the university won’t allow you to graduate. There are a lot of things over this year that could have prevented me from completing my program and graduating, and I refuse to let a stupid library fine be the reason. So I am now debt free and I can worry about other reasons why I won’t graduate on time. ARGH!

P.S. It is a REALLY nice day today. =D

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