Hotashi

I recently purchased some high end makeup and I’ve been itching to try out new eyeshadow techniques. For the past year I’ve been wearing one eyeshadow for everything - boring! So I went on youtube to find out about Indian bridal makeup and I found some really awesome youtube clips. Check them out.

I liked the music in that one - maybe I’ll download some Arabic music. I also tried out the eyeshadow technique shown at 0:50. My eyeshadow is a shimmer and not matte, so it didn’t look the same but it was close enough. I’m happy with it.

This one really was a transformation and I can’t wait to try this one out as soon as I get more matte colours. I don’t think you can pull this off with the shimmer kind. =/

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The area that I live in has really hard water so everytime I wash my hands they dry up instantly. I have to lotion my hands everytime otherwise hy hands start to look like they are 20 years older than they really are. I’ve tried many hand creams and they are usually too greasy, but I finally found out that is the best. It’s called Arnica 2 in 1 Hand & Nail Cream by Yves Rocher.

The regular price for this is $9 (CAD) but they often have it at half price or you can wait patiently like me for their two for one promotion. Seriously, this hand cream is good and worth stocking up on. It also makes my nails nice and shiny. The icing on the cake, in my opinion.

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In my race and ethnicity class last week we discussed some of the ways racialized peoples alter their image to try to fit in with the White norm. We focused more on darker skinned people wearing light coloured contacts or altering the colour of their hair. The topic really got me thinking. I had thought about these things a few years ago and had decided that I would not dye my hair, wear colour contacts or lighten my skin. I wanted to make a statement that I was proud of who I was and I did not believe I should change the natural beauty of my body to match that of a White woman (a specific type of White woman that most White women do not look like, but still strive to duplicate onto their bodies). But this time I started thinking about the texture of my hair.

Ever since grade seven I have hated my hair - hated. I don’t think I ever really liked my hair, but I really began to hate it with a passion in grade seven. This was when I started going through puberty and I started realizing how I did not fit the ideal beauty that was set out by Canadian society. I was not White, I did not have fair skin, I was not tall, and I did not have luscious hair that was soft to the touch. My hair was big, volumous (more than desired), black, and coarse. It was hard to maintain and I had not yet learned how to “manage” it. I got my first hair straightener in grade eight or nine and I have been straightening my hair ever since. Occasionally I would leave it natural, but this was out of laziness than anything else. I started thinking about why I hated my hair so much. It’s been 10 years of this hatred and I haven’t allowed myself to stop and think about why.

Last year I had seen a movie (I can’t remember the name) about Black American women talking about their hair. I had blogged about it previously, but I only discussed the comb test in that post. I can’t remember the entire movie, but I remember that a prominent theme was the struggle that many Black women have about coming to terms about their natural hair. For many they have been treating their hair for a good portion (probably the majority) of their lives, and they had to make conscious decisions about the statement they wanted to make with their hair. Many were fighting against the image of the ideal beauty having long, silky straight hair and they wanted to send the message that their natural “kinky” hair was beautiful, acceptable and desirable.

Thinking about the messages that Black women have received and self-inflicted upon themselves of attaining this desired type of hair, I have realized that I too have done the same to myself. Also, I have accepted messages that dark, “kinky” hair is undesirable and disgusting. I have always liked the feeling of my straight silky hair after it has been straightened, but I’ve realized that this is part of the socialization that I have experienced that has taught me that coarse hair does not feel good - that the kinks need to be straightened out and erased of any undesirability. How did I not see this earlier?

So this week I did not straighten my hair. I left it natural and went out to dinner with my friends. I received compliments and scowls about my “beautiful natural hair” which I previously used to shrug off, but this time I smiled and said thank you. I have decided that I want to unlearn the hatred towards my hair and relearn how to love it. I want to take back the power I so willingly gave up to an abstract, unrealistic model image.

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This is the maple tree behind my room that I talked about before. Thankfully when I made this picture smaller, you can’t even tell that I didn’t move the screen mesh out of the way. Hehehe…shh, don’t tell anyone. I love my tree. It’s so soothing to look at and just daze off into. It doesn’t look like this anymore because of the crazy wind we’ve been having. It’s almost completely naked now. Oh how winter is sneaking up…I can feel it already.

I really need a new coat, too. I’ve had to layer like mad the past few days because the wind is so nippy. Hopefully I can pick one up this weekend when I go home and save myself another week of sickness. I’m not sure what kind to get though…I definately want to keep with my goal of having a more mature look. But…I don’t know what would look good in a semi-casual way. Plus it’s always hard to find my size, so I can’t be too picky either. I wonder what’s in style these days. I don’t keep up with anything now, especially since I don’t have a TV.

I came across a video of Froggy (my previous hamster) today when I was looking through pictures. It made me really miss him. It’s not that I don’t like Tokki (my current hamster), but Tokki doesn’t interact with me the way Froggy did. I know it’s silly to miss a hamster this much, but I really do miss him a lot. I wish I could hold him again, or at least have a better goodbye.

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Don’t you hate it when your camera re-sets itself to take megahuge pictures? Now all my recent pictures are about 1MB each. Why would I need pictures that big unless I wanted to make a wallpaper or something. And all I have is shitty Microsoft Paint to resize. Grr >_>. Anyway, the day after I got engaged I dyed my hair for the first time. It had nothing to do with the engagement. It just so happened that I planned to dye it the day I got back from Jack’s place. Anyway, on to the pics! I found the first pic amusing, so that’s why I posted it.

[EDIT] The pictures in this post have been deleted. [/EDIT]

I don’t actually wear my hair like this. The red is on both sides as an underlayer so that red sometimes peeks through under my natural hair. The red is really vibrant in natural light. I think it looks cool. The flash doesn’t do it justice though. Oh, and look! It’s me with Tokki! He’s so cute. ^_^

[EDIT] The pictures in this post have been deleted. [/EDIT]

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