Hotashi

I was just going through a stack of papers and sorting them into my keep and recycle piles when I found the Rainbow centre edition of Blueprint Magazine I had picked up a while ago. I had skimmed through the articles before but I didn’t really remember much. I came across one article called “A Closet Tantrum” where the author wrote about how his decision to come out was selfish. He ended off by stating that “the truth may hurt now, but with any luck, they’ll (his parents) come to realize that honesty was in fact the best policy.” It made me think about my own honesty with my parents. From what I can remember about my childhood and teenage years, I have been quite honest with my parents. Sometimes, I’ve been a little too honest but I attribute that to my bluntness and avoidance of sugar coating things (something that I unfortunately don’t do enough these days). I continued this into my university years and didn’t really avoid telling my parents (read: my mom) about the things I would do. I always thought that this was because I sincerely believed that honesty was the best policy.

Recently I’ve been thinking about my honesty with my mother who relays the information to my father and typically calms him down after he freaks out over my decisions. I always thought that my honesty with them was due to my insistence on being an honest person. Well lately I have found myself purposely keeping things from them. Why? Because I know they would not approve and I’m tired of justifying myself to them. When Jack and I first started dating I told my mother right away even though I knew they wouldn’t approve. They insisted that I should focus on my studies and avoid relationships since they were time consuming (which I can completely understand when I look back now). However I told them anyway and I stuck with my decision. Of course, I wouldn’t have been able to do this if my parents weren’t open-minded enough (unlike many other Indian parents that I know) to let their daughter attend a university away from home, and allow her to date despite their personal beliefs against it. I always pointed to this situation as proof of my honesty with my parents. So what is up with my life now?

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