Hotashi

Showers are amazing. Not only do you get that awesome feeling of clenliness as warm water soothes your body, but it’s also alone time away from the world to think about anything and everything. As I stood in the tub yesterday under the water I thought about a friend I had talked to earlier in the day. She just broke up with her boyfriend and was understandably quite upset. I listened to her and then shared my experiences with Jack’s and my 3 (or 4?) breaks and one break-up during our four and a half years together. I told her how at the time it hurts like hell but after you scream and weep out all the overwhelming emotions you can face the deeper emotions and thoughts that you wouldn’t otherwise have access to. And once you deal with the second set of emotions and thoughts, you realize things about yourself, your (ex-) partner, and your relationship that you couldn’t really place your finger on before. I think she was relieved to hear that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Still, I couldn’t help but remember how I felt during that time…and it really was hell.

Thinking about this in the shower put things in perspective for me. Previously I didn’t really have high expectations for stereotypical relationship expectations (ie. material love, celebrating extravagantly, regulated romance), but after watching Sex and the City over the past few months, my expectations seemed to shift. It’s quite ridiculous when I think about it now. Why did I want what they had when really, they are so fucked up? How could I not see how much more healthy my relationship with Jack is where we actually had intimacy? Why did I want Jack to perform like all the pieces of meat the four women would bang…well, I can’t say that I ever wanted Samantha’s “love” life. I was mostly awed at Aiden. Damn that Carrie for being such a bitch. =P

While in the shower I asked myself what was the last romantic thing that Jack did for me. And of course I was trying to remember the stereotypical actions (ie. buying flowers or some other useless token that would eventually rot), and of course I couldn’t think of anything. So I asked myself what had Jack done recently that really touched me. Do you know what I thought of? The one time in my life when I was hung over and Jack took care of me. He cleaned up my puke, took care of me the next day (even though he had a killer migrane), and never once complained. Only someone who really loves you will do that. No amount of money can buy it. So I’m glad I don’t have money thrown at me, because I’ve got the real deal.

My friend asked me last week how I knew Jack was the one. I didn’t know how to articulate my feelings to her, but now I know I should have said: he loves me at my worst. Man, my heart feels so warm and fuzzy right now. ^_^

P.S. Don’t worry, I will never get that wasted ever again.

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I recently made my first online purchase of shoes a couple of weeks ago from Zappos.com. I was hoping that my shoes would arrive at my parent’s house last week so that I could try them on this weekend to see if they fit. Well just my luck - they arrived yesterday. So now I have to wait a while before I can see if they fit. I really hope they do because it costs $15 to send them back. I really hate how U.S. residents get free shipping and Canada has to pay customs and shipping charges. Why can’t companies have locations in Canada? It’s so annoying.

I feel really tired today. I’m not sure why exactly. I went to bed at 11:30 and woke up at 7:45, which I think it’s plenty of sleep for a grad student. I thought it was because I was hungry, but I just ate my lunch…so what’s up? Maybe my body gets tired from knowing all the deadlines that are coming up in the next two weeks and how impossible it is for me to meet all of them. Did I mention how tired of school I am?

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I’ve been really busy with school lately. I had a mini breakdown and an anxiety attack last week. The stress has been really getting to me. Easter couldn’t have come at a better time, really. I went home this weekend to spend time with my family and relax. Church didn’t have the same effect like it had in the past, but it was good to be back. The message of Easter is always something that I need to cherish and remind myself of. And I’ve realized that I have been forgetting that my value does not lie anywhere but in God. I guess I’ve been trying to gain validation through completing my Masters, conducting my own research, and in other places. These accomplishments are a nice pat on the back, but day by day I am feeling less satisfied and more burdened. Things that once excited me now make me cringe. So I am now going to try to make a conscious effort to just do my best for Jesus and not care about impressing anyone else. Life is more enjoyable that way.

Just to add in something random, I am really hungry but whenever I walk out of my room into the kitchen I can smell the bag of garbage still waiting to be thrown out. I lose my appetite immediately, but I’m so hungry. Why can’t people do their chores on time? >_>

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Here are two stories as to why I think that truer (not true, truer) democracy should allow people not only to vote in people but vote them out as well.

Story #1: Toronto City Councellor Rob Ford makes racist comments about “Orientals”
So here is what he said:

“Go to Hong Kong, okay? I’ve been there. You want to see workaholics? Those Oriental people work like dogs. They work their hearts out … that’s why they’re successful in life. … I’m telling you, Oriental people, they’re slowly taking over, because there’s no excuses for them. They’re hard, hard workers.”

So yeah…I guess we should be scared of those crazy overworked “Orientals” who are determined to take over our country. I can’t believe some people think this isn’t racist. Just because Ford is “praising” “Oriental people” does not mean that he is not 1) Othering a group of people, 2) perpetuating stereotypes (aka false statements), and 3) instilling fear into Canadians about “Orientals”. It’s so sad that he is a councellor for Toronto. I guess it just goes to show how stupid people can get elected. He initially refused to appologize and then eventually appologised to 15-20 people who were offended by his comments. WTF?! So basically he doesn’t think that his words were wrong, but that he was sorry he hurt some people’s feelings. What a moron! Btw, he is planning to run for mayor of Toronto in 2010. I am so going to protest.

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When you fall in love with a mathie, there is only one day in the year that you should never forget - International Pi Day. It is coming up this Friday (March 14 = 3.14), so don’t forget! Unfortunately I won’t be able to celebrate it with my mathie, so I’m going to celebrate it with two of my very good friends. What are we going to do? Well eat pie of course! If you’re in the Waterloo area and want free pie, they hand them out at the University of Waterloo. See!

Btw, I love how Wikipedia categorizes Pi Day under geek holidays. xD

Resources:
Official Pi Day Website
Pi Day Wikipedia

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