Hotashi

I’ve been really angry lately…I won’t go into the details, but it’s been tough for me to deal with it. I think that I’m dealing with it slowly day by day, but I hope it’s not just me being dilusional. Anyway I’m reading an article for my presentation next week about HIV/AIDS activism via the Internet. As I read it I remembered a video (documentary? news clip?…not sure, but something along those lines) that I watched in class a couple of years back in a class. There was this one part which showed various mothers and their children standing outside their kids’ school and protesting to have a child with AIDS banned from the school so that he wouldn’t spread it to the other children. The scene shows the mother of the child with AIDS walk out with him into their car and drive away while these protesters yelled things like “get away from my child” and “you’re not going to hurt my baby.” This occurred during the time when the media portrayed HIV/AIDS as a “gay disease” and placed a deviant label on anyone with the disease. And since earlier on people didn’t know how it could be spread (other than through “gay sex”), there was a fear of associating with people with HIV/AIDS. This happened for cancer as well.

It made me wonder what types of anger issues the mother of that child with AIDS and the child himself had to deal with. It was horrible for me just to watch, but I wasn’t even there. I wasn’t even the victim. How did they feel? What did they have to do to deal with their anger?

When I think about that video, I get really angry myself. It makes me realize how much we each need to fight injustice in our world, and to recognize MORAL PANIC. So many times we fall into moral panic and we don’t even know it. “TERRORISM!” “EVIL ENEMIES” “PEOPLE STEALING OUR JOBS”…it’s really disgusting. How can we live in a democratic society that values fairness and justice and yet harbour such hatred and fear of our neighbours? I think a good way for me to direct my anger is to become a social activist. In a way, I’m sad that more people aren’t angry because this world would be a much better place if people got angry enough to fight injustice.

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I’m so annoyed with my roommates. I don’t know why they are so stupid. I was cleaning up the kitchen (since nobody seems to think that cleaning up is HYGENIC) and guess what I found on the table…a bag of rotting tomatoes. Yum! Yeah, NOT! I almost hurled right there into the bag. That was the last straw. I put up a sign on the wall above it saying “PLEASE CLEAN UP YOUR ROTTING FOOD!!”. Roommate1 (RM1) came home and asked the other one (RM2) about it. They then kept denying to each other that it was their tomatoes (clearly they don’t know that I can hear them in my room). RM1 finally knocked on my door and asked me where I found it (yeah, because I pulled it out of my ass and just left it on the table so that rot juice could ooze into a puddle beneath it). I told them that I left it as I found it and that it wasn’t mine because I only use canned tomatoes. They then proceeded to deny that it was theirs. WTF! It is clearly not mine, and do I give a shit whose they are? Clean up your damn mess and leave me the fuck alone. I don’t need to be stumbling upon your mess because you can’t even clean up after yourselves.

I just left them to clean it up and went back into my room. I hope they get it into their heads that I’m not going to be nice and sweet to them anymore since they are complete idiots. For fucks sake, realize that you’re not living at home anymore where your mom does everything for you, including wiping your ass after you take a shit! I really hope they will go away for the summer so I can have the place to myself. It’s the only thing I would look forward to at this point.

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