Hotashi

I went to a time management workshop with some of my classmates on Friday. It was somewhat useful, but it was also a reality check of how much we have to do and how little time we have to do it all. Many of the others freaked out over this, which is completely understandable. We’ve all been really stressed out over our coursework but have kept it to ourselves for the most part. So in a way it was encouraging to see others freak out because I know that I’m not alone in my anxiety. Recently though I haven’t been that anxious because I choose not to worry. I had to practice how to do this, but for the most part I have it down pat. I’m not in control, but I know God is. Anyway, I just feel closer to my classmates after that. I feel the need to reach out to some of them to let them know they’re not alone and that we can hold each other up when we need support. I’m really glad I get along with them because otherwise it would have been one more anxiety issue I would have had to overcome.

I also had a chat with my roommates last night about house stuff. I tried to be direct in a nice way, since I just hate beating around the bush. I said exactly what was bothering me, and what I wanted changed. I realized that one roommate in particular had different expectations of what it would be like living with us. She’s an international student so maybe she wanted a home away from home. And it’s sad to say, but I can’t give her that. I’m too busy to hang out or bond with them. I feel guilty about it, because I never want to be the person who rejects a desire for friendship. But I just can’t see myself doing well in school if I spend quality time with the roomies. I don’t have that privilege like I had in undergrad. But I just feel so awful about it.

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